Married Men
How do you show up at home?
In my household, I work a job and my wife is a stay at home mom. This is an amazing gift for me, because I have a partner to help me with things.
She cooks and cleans for me and our kids, she manages the household, does laundry, drives kids to activities and school, runs errands, pays bills, and a MILLION other things that get done by her.
All of this without a “paycheck”. She works as hard as me or even harder than me everyday. She deals with stress, frustration, timelines, scope, budgets, conflict and all of the same issues I deal with at my job.
The difference is that I leave in the morning, go to my work, and then come home, leaving most of my work behind me. Yes I still think about it and many times work more when I get home, but there is something different about stepping outside of that environment and coming home that allows me to disconnect in a way that she never gets too.
Kids do not take breaks, they do not stop…they are 24x7x365! They do not give her space, privacy, time for herself. She has to steal time any place she can find it and when she doesn’t get it she pushes thru.
This is why I continue to ask her how I can help. I am FAR from perfect…I fail everyday at little things like picking up after myself and the kids…but there are things that I have done to help lighten the load from her shoulders.
I took back the responsibility to cook dinner when I am home…I am a really good cook, and I actually enjoy cooking…she never liked it but did it for us…so taking that helps her to have time to do other things…
I hired a maid…not everyday…they come twice a month…it isn’t that expensive but it helps her because she can focus on the little things, and not worry bout deep cleaning because that is done for her.
The important thing, like in anything when dealing with another person is communication. Asking my Queen what she needs…and being willing to hear her when she says I am dropping the ball, or need to do something more/different/better.
And remember, if you have children, they are watching you…how you treat your wife and them. The things you do or don’t do…they see those things when you don’t even think about it…
children are sponges, they soak in everything around them, and it builds their identities and sets their expectations and view of “normal”.
I have 3 kids, 2 boys and 1 girl. I want my boys to treat their future wives with respect and love…I want my daughter to look for relationships with people that honor and appreciate all that she does…the way that happens is when they see my example…
I will give them a good example…I choose to step up and do things different…be different…be weird…whatever you want to say…
Marriage is not 50/50…it is 100%
Check out this video…
This video really hit home for me, it isn’t that long, and you have to read the subtitles…but I believe it is a powerful message…and it is a laundry detergent commercial… Great marketing…but really great message.
It is your choice how to show up in life…who you will be in the world…how you will be remembered..the legacy you leave…

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